Sunday, July 27, 2008

12 Angry Days of Birth

There are some moments when a cheap foam Hawaiian shirt and giant cup of java are enough to help a person regain some clarity and focus on the impending day.

Never challenge a personage big enough to reach all the push buttons to a fighting game that requires reaching and pushing all of those same River's Edge lip hue blue buttons within a short period of time.

Never mix wine with Yoo-Hoo, pink flavor. How does a color have a flavor, you ask? You'll know by the aftertaste. Or more precisely, how it tastes after you throw it all back up. On someone. Probably someone nice. Like that lady that brought the tasty pastries with the frosting that wasn't pink, more of a rouge color really, sort of ruddy like a sweaty diabetic in a cake walk competition. Sorry about your sweater.

Also, never mix Mai Tais with corn flakes near an openly flaming BBQ pit (the fire kind, not the discoteque kind) regardless to what Mr. Wizard said.

No. Wait. Got that wrong. Mr. Wizard did caution that breakfast cereal could be explosive. Another cautionary tale tragically misrecalled. Sorry about your so fine sofa. Not so fine anymore. Unless you count what the rental place will charge when you try to return that smoke damaged big screen television set. The one with the head in it. I didn't have a hand with that aspect, though.

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